Orlando Shaw makes babymaking and evading responsibilities an artform, especially when you learn the 33-year-old from Nashville is currently tied up in a crazy court case brought on by his 14 baby mamas and the state’s Child Support Services department.
After the state has paid $7,000 a month to support all of his kids, Tennessee wants some cold hard cash from Shaw, according to News Channel 5.
But, what the unemployed Shaw can’t offer in dollars he more than makes up for with these 8 tips for fathers everywhere.
Watch Orlando Share More Wisdom in the Video Below!
Fatherly Advice from Orlando Shaw, Deadbeat Daddy
1. When They’re Young, They’re Her Problem
If you want to get far in the game of fatherhood, remember that babies are mother’s territory. Best to just leave ’em alone, Orlando says, and wait ’til they grow up a little. “Mothers deal with them better when they’re small,” Shaw said. “When they are 10, 11, or 12, I have to pull out the big guns.”
2. Never Leave Your Offspring Hanging
Don’t think for a second you can just lay down on the job when you’re a dad. When they need you, they need you! “Every time they call, you come. They are your responsibility, and nobody else’s.” There are exceptions, of course, especially when it comes to paying for school supplies, lunch money and things like housing.
See More Hot Parenting Tips Below!
3. Get Those Kids an iPhone
Do you really think a smoke signal is going to do the job? Hell no! Those kids need a phone, and they need one quick, Orlando says. “You’ve got to have it, you’ve got to have it to get picked up,” Orlando said.
4. An Easy Method to Remembering Your Kids’ Names
Orlando has no trouble remembering his kids names after coming up with this fantastic solution: Name all the boys ‘Orlando’. Except for Tyshawn, Qualandro, and Will. He also has princesses, too. They’re known as Miracle. Tameka, Orlandra, Omica, and Oneesha.
5. How to Meet Fire Code When You’ve Got 22 Kids
With 22 kids (or 18, if you ask Orlando), Mr. Shaw knows how to appease his baby mamas AND the fire marshal when it’s his weekend to take the offspring. “Rotate,” Orlando quips. “I couldn’t hold 18 kids in my house at one time…take half one weekend, half on the other weekend.”
6. Keep the Lines of Communication Open with Your Ladies
With as many kids as Orlando has, it might become dicey at times. That’s where communication is key, he says. While he admits some relationships are better than others, he’s got a good relationship with all of ’em to this day. So good, in fact, they all wanted a date at the same time–at the courthouse in Nashville.
7. If You’re Unemployed, It Pays to Have a Hope and a Dream
Orlando has a criminal record, which prevents him from finding employment. But, that doesn’t keep this dad down! “I can’t pay no child support right now, [but] I’m not worried about that,” Shaw says. “I play the hell out of Tennessee Lottery, number tickets, scratch offs…I don’t block my blessings.”
8. When In Doubt, Get Fixed.
If you find yourself unemployed with 22 mouths to feed, clothe, and get through 18 years of life, you might consider getting a vasectomy as Orlando is. This outpatient procedure can be done in 30 minutes or less, and you can be back to work–or ticket scratching–the next day.