- “No. 10: That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.
- “No. 9: During Sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.”
- “No. 8: Donald Trump looks like the guy on the lifeboat with the women and children.”
- “No. 7: He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head?”
- “No. 6: Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional bulls**t.. no, wait-that’s me.”
- “No. 5: Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds- 250 with cologne.”
- “No. 4: Trump would like all Americans to know that thing on his head is free range.”
- “No. 3 (tie): If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict the family on Thanksgiving.”
- “No. 3 (tie): That’s not a hairdo, it’s a wind advisory.”
- “No. 2: Donald Trump has p**sed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie entitled No Amigos.”
- “THANKS TO DONALD TRUMP, THE REPUBLICAN MASCOT IS ALSO AN ASS.”
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