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Charlie Sheen was only looking for a nice evening out for his fiancee’s birthday. She happens to be a huge Rihanna fan, and lo and behold, there she was at the same exact restaurant.

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It would only be fitting that they do a little meet and greet, right?

Of course not.

The “Anger Management” star sent a request over to her table and it was quickly denied, citing that there were “too many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at the time.”

He got perched up on social media to vent his frustrations, in what might be the longest tweet in history (but since that can’t be proven right now, we’ll move on).

(We clicked on the Twitlonger link, so you don’t have to.)

I took my gal out to dinner
last night with her best
friends for her Bday.
we heard Rihanna was present as well.
I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancé 
Scotty to her, as she is a 
huge fan.

(personally I couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint)

well, the word we received back was that there were too
many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time.

At this time? AT THIS TIME??
lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random
11 million to 1 encounter
with her some other night…?

no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and
“please kill me now”
that I’d never get back.

My Gal, however,
was NOT OK with it.
Nice impression you
left behind, Bday or not.
Sorry we’re not KOOL enough
to warrant a blessing from
the Princess. 
(or in this case 
the Village idiot) 

you see THIS is the reason
that I ALWAYS take the time.
THIS is why I’m in this thing
31 awesome years. 
Good will and 
common courtesy, carefully
established over time to exist radically in concert 
with a code of gratitude!

I guess “Talk That Talk”
was just a big ol lie from
a big ol liar.

oh and Riahnna,
Halloween isn’t for a while.
but good on you for testing out your costume in public.
it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer,
as in:

See ya on the way down,
(we always do)
and actually,
it was a pleasure NOT
meeting you.
clearly we have NOTHING
in common when it comes
to respect for those who’ve
gone before you.
I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds
to situate that bad wig
before you left the restaurant.

Here’s a tip from a real vet
of this terrain;
If ya don’t wanna get bothered
and if this “Prison of Fame”
is soooooooo unnerving and 
difficult, then QUIT, junior!

No shade to Charlie Sheen, because he’s a legend at… I don’t know, getting married a bunch of times and being accused of wife-beating, but this just sounds like he’s being a grump. People don’t have to do what they don’t want to do, and that includes meeting someone’s finacee when they’re trying to enjoy a meal.

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Rihanna Manages To Piss Charlie Sheen Off At Restaurant  was originally published on