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Dear Gay Best Friend,

So, I have been with my man for 2 years. We live together and have now for over a year. It just seems lately that he is very distracted and more interested in what his ex wants or needs. He does have a 15 year old with her, but I feel he should only have contact with his ex when it comes to his child. He is still paying her car insurance and I am afraid he is doing that to hold on to whatever he can. What do I have to do to get him to finally let go? I am so confused and I am also sick of wasting my time if he can’t be fully devoted to this relationship. Please help – Hoping He Moves On

Dear Ms. Hoping He Moves On,

Girl, really? Your man is paying the car insurance on his ex’s car. And, you’re still in this relationship! I wish I might. If he wants to pay her car insurance, then trust and believe I would give him some costly financial reasons of why he’s paying that car insurance. And, her premium would be so high he’d think he was paying a house mortgage.

Chile, I swear you women are reluctant to get a whole and complete man. You are so desperate for d**k that you will settle for a piece of man. You don’t want a man who is willing to commit himself wholly and totally to you. No, ma’am. You want a man that is still clinging or holding on to some other woman because you want to be the woman who says, “I got him. I took him away from her. I was able to change him. I won!” LMBAO!

If your man is still holding on to his ex, then let him go. Why are you holding on to someone who is holding on to somebody else? All that grabbing and clinging to one another. Just a long big ole’ (That’s a quotable from Tamar Braxton).

But, sweetheart, you’re asking me for advice when you’ve already answered yourself in the last line of your letter. You said, “I am also sick of wasting my time if he can’t be fully devoted to this relationship.” Okay, so what’s the problem? If you’re sick of it and him, and he can’t be fully devoted to you and the relationship he has with you, then why are you still there? Chile, wait before you answer that, I got to heat up these Easter leftovers. We had mac and cheese from scratch, Cornish hens, glazed honey ham, greens with turkey meat, homemade stuffing, potato salad, gravy, and some banana pudding. But, I digress.

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Look, Ms. Hoping He Moves On, your man has a child with his ex. He needs to be a part of the child’s life, but it stops there. He doesn’t need to be involved with his ex outside of their child. And yes, I agree that they should only be in communication and contact with one another only when it has something to do with the child. Other than that, he shouldn’t be footing any personal bills, or chit chatting just for the sake of it. I mean is it his car that she’s driving? Is his name on the title? If not, then why the hell is he paying her car insurance? Unless they have some type of arrangement you don’t know about. But, I suggest you ask him and find out what’s going on. Talk with him and let him know how you feel about the situation. If he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing, and he’s not willing to move on and be your man, then kick his sorry ass to the curb and move on. But, see if he will foot some of your bills, at least six months in advance, before you make him bounce. If he’s so free-willy in spending money, then start withdrawing from the open ATM. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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“We’ve Been Together 2 Years, Yet, He Won’t Let His Ex Go & Pays Her Bills”  was originally published on