Via Hellobeautiful.com writer Shamika Sanders:
I’ve played on both sides of the fence. I’ve been the side chick and am currently
the main the only chick. I am very aware of the expectations and behaviors associated with the roles… the rules if you will. When I watched VH1 reality show “Love & Hip Hop,” characters Emily B., Mimi Faust and Joseline Hernandez stood out to me because like I’ve mentioned, I’ve been there. How does one go from mistress to main? Well, that’s another story, but I will say, it was not without strife. A couple of years ago I was Joseline Hernandez. I just wanted my Stebbie no matter who it hurt and what it cost. My only concern was having him in my life, for a minute, an hour, a lustful night with his cellphone powered off… Then, the tables turned and the position I desperately craved became mine.
Talking like this, reminds me of the degradation women allow ourselves to endure, but for the sake of this story, it is what it is. Moving on.
But, happiness would only be short lived because as they say, “What goes around, comes around,” and the same pain I once inflicted upon a girlfriend or two happened to me. And the only thing that probably hurts more than being cheated on, is unrequited love. But in essence, a main chick becomes a side chick when a man cheats. No woman is a winner in that situation. But, it did teach me a valuable lesson about life. From all my puddles of tears, I gathered and promised myself to never (voluntarily) be a side-chick again.
If every woman took responsibility for herself, forget about the man for a moment, and vowed to not sleep with or talk to a man in a relationship, I think (and I am entitled to my opinion) the world of dating would be a better place!
This all leads me to “The Real Mistresses Of Atlanta,” a production by Memphitz that may be making its way to our television screens sooner than later. A pilot trailer hit the Internet earlier this year and I want to be clear about this: I do not agree with glorifying any side chick, especially the kind of women that aren’t lead by love, but just don’t care! Point blank, no matter which way it is put, the show makes women look like heartless, materialistic beings with no remorse for their fellow man. At least that’s how I feel about it…
During my recent interview with the record exec I just had to ask about it and how an idea for such a controversial series even came into existence.
HB: I want touch on “The Real Mistresses Of Atlanta.” Because I hear that you are behind this and I watched the trailer and I am just like, ‘I don’t know what to expect.’
Memphitz: Okay. What exactly do you wanna know? My thought process behind it?
HB: Yes. I need to know your thought process and where that show is going.
Memphitz: Okay. Well, it actually came from, I have to involve my wife in this because she loves her shows, her reality shows, her guilty pleasures. When I’m talking to her during those shows, she always shushing me. So I’m like, ‘You know what? I’m gonna give you something to shush about!’ I was like, ‘Let me think of something.’ I went away for a while, I came back and I was like, ‘These shows , really? And I’m looking at ‘em and I’m researching and I’m watching ‘em with my wife and I’m starting to learn what’s actually captivating these women to where these ratings are so crazy. I’m like, you know what?’
All of a sudden it popped in my head cause I have a lot of friends that are married. I would never give any names. But I have a lot of friends that are married and they have mistresses and women that are married that have mistresses. You know what I mean? So It’s kinda like, it’s a real thing. It’s kinda like ugly. But I kinda like the ugly cause usually the ugly is the most entertaining. In some cultures the mistresses are kinda like considered the boss lady of the house. She’s in charge or whatever. But usually in our culture, mistresses are considered or known as another woman in a married relationship. So I was like, ‘You know what? There’s a reason why these women become mistresses and I kind of broke it down as the difference between a mistress and a groupie. Groupies usually go after an artist or whoever that person is because that person is who they are and they wanna be around and they love that. But mistresses are sometimes kinda like, more approached. They’re more chosen than they do the choosing.
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For whatever reasons. You got mistresses out here that don’t even have sex with the husband. She just makes him feel young. She says stuff to him that his wife hasn’t said to him in years. I’ve heard so many different situations on why mistresses exist. And they’ve existed from the beginning of time. It’s nothing new, it’s just something I choose to put to the light that’s not so popular. I feel like in the end, they’re gonna learn to appreciate why they exist and also find out that they’re real people at the same time and they have lives. They have children-some of them have kids-some of them are gonna go off to be bigger than what people are judging them for. It’s an opportunity for people to immediately cast judgment upon these people, when in the end, who knows if you find out that you can relate to them in more ways than you thought you really could.
Think about it. Women and men or couples that watch this show, it’s not just about these women getting on TV flaunting how they’re living off of something or someone’s husband or how they’re someone’s secret. That’s a part of it. But there’s also the side of it, I say hardcore marriage counseling. It’s kinda when you watching the show. There’s two sides to learn from. On the woman side, it’s kind of like, she’s mad that she’s seeing how these women get to live. But at the same time, she’s figuring out, wait a minute. He went and got her because she makes him feel like this and how I used to make him feel. I don’t do that anymore. I’ve gotten complacent or whatever in the relationship and I’m starting to find out that he’s the same man that I married. He has needs just like I have needs. And the man’s looking at it like ‘Whoa. My wife’s looking at this and now she’s figuring out that if she keeps doing this, cause a lot of women are like, you gotta keep doing what it took to get me so I can stay around.’ But I think a lot of women forget that it’s the same thing with the man. And Kim Zolcksiack was the person I got the inspiration from of a mistress turned housewife. Because it can happen.
HB: You had this woman up there, I don’t remember her name. But she was up there, talking about black women’s vaginas look like…what did she say? That was so offensive.
Memphitz: Her life is kinda conflicted because she grew up in a racist household. I started interviewing her and found she comes from a very racist household where her dad and her mom used the n-word probably very frequently. But at the same time, she went to an all black school. And she had black boyfriends. So she’s really conflicted. But at the same time, she says what she means and she says what’s on her mind. I told her, ‘Whatever ya’ll say, you’re gonna be held accountable for.” So now we can do these interviews and each one of them said what they had to say. And I’m not covering up for her. I was just as shocked as everyone else was.
HB: So is it going to be a new show? Is it coming to TV?
Memphitz: Right now it’s not too much information I can release about it, because it is on the table of some very important situations. At the time I did it, they made it clear to me that TV wasn’t ready for this yet. I’ve never been the type of person to give you what is going on right now. Even in my A&R business with music, when I was coming with T-Pain, it wasn’t what was now. It wasn’t what was right then. It was something people had to get used to and be like, ‘Wait a minute. I like this!’ So it’s the same thing with ‘Mistresses.’ I was told, you know, you’re a couple of pages ahead of people right now. So you’re gonna have to wait until people catch up with you. It’s coming around and I’m finally getting these great responses and conversations. My phone is ringing and people are starting to wrap their heads around what a show like this would look like and what channel would this be on.
So I ask you all, are you ready for “The Real Mistresses Of Atlanta”?