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The 53rd annual Grammy Awards kicked off with a tribute to Aretha Franklin. LL Cool J hit the stage to introduce Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson and Yolanda Adams in an unprecedented performance of “Natural Woman.” Christina Aguilera redeemed herself from her mishap during the singing of the national anthem at the  2011 Superbowl with  the best vocals I’ve heard on a white girl thus far! Aretha filmed a special thank you speech, appearing abnormally thin(for her) after her highly successful surgery.

Lady Gaga performed her new single “Born This Way “ for the first time with freakishly real, abnormal shoulders, makeup and transparent outfit. Not to mention she pulled up to the Grammys in an egg?!

Lenny Kravitz looked amazing.

With 14 Grammy nominations between them, B.O.B, Bruno Mars and Janelle Monae took to the stage performing one of the biggest songs of 2010—“Nothing On You.” While B.O.B looked like the man from the Monopoly box, Janelle stole the show with her natural beauty and signature bouffant singing “Cold War”

Bruno Mars and his charming smile sang his little heart out in a black and white Smokey Robinson reminiscent performance.

***Justin Beiber Alert***

Footage of the first meeting between Usher and Justin Beiber graced the screens of millions to cheese over. It was followed by a corny acting session between the two on stage. With Usher crowning the 53rd Grammys as Beibers “time” Justin hit the first note on his guitar singing “Baby.” A couple of martial art moves later Beibs was joined on stage by Jaden Smith(who was wearing leopard jeans). Will and Jada were in the crowd smiling proudly and singing along to their son’s verse on “Never Say Never”

***End Justin Beiber Alert***

Justin joined Usher on stage for the same dance routine we have been seeing ever since “OMG” first came out. None-the-less it was the best performance I’ve seen from Usher in a long time!

Lady Gaga took home the Grammy for Pop Vocal Album over Beibs, Katy Perry and John Mayer. She surprisingly thanked Whitney Houston for inspiring her to write her new single “Born This Way.”

The Teddy Pendergrass tribute was sort of suspect, probably because it was performed by a white trio with guitars.

Jamie Foxx introduced Cee Lo Green but didn’t warn us that he would be wearing a costume that looked like it was designed by Missy Elliot, a 300 Spartan and showgirl. Though dressed like a gay chicken, Cee Lo’s performance was highly invigorating to an otherwise boring award show. Gwyneth Paltrow made an appearance wearing a jumpsuit with secy Louboutin’s and proved that she can actually sing before humping the piano.

Cee Lo and Eminem lost Song Of The Year to Lady Antebellum.

Seth Rogen joked about getting high with Miley Cyrus before introducing Rihanna, Dr. Dre and Eminem. Rihanna kicked her Side-Show Bob hairstyle for a sleek bob and paper bag dress. There was a slight technical difficulty with Eminem’s mic as Rihanna seductively walked to him from across the room. Dr Dre shortly made his highly anticipated debut which was as overrated as Eminem’s “Love The Way You Lie” song.

Esperenza robbed Drake and Justin Bieber of Best New Artist.

Finally Nicki Minaj showed her face, along-side Will.I.Am to present the award for Rap Album which Eminem snatched early for his work on “Recovery.” He thanked Rihanna for helping propel his album to such heights and bigged up Detroit.

Beyonce looked amazing as usual, although they only showed a glimpse of her.

P.Diddy looked absolutely ridiculous with gold fronts introducing Ri Ri and Drizzy. Rihanna heated up the stage,literally(cue the Illuminati rumors) and even got Drake to bust a wine during “What’s My Name.”

Record Of The Year went to Lady Antebellum and beat out Cee Lo, Jay-Z, and Eminem…very upsetting!

Album Of The Year went to…The Suburbs

P.S-Jay-Z and Lil’ Wayne were nowhere to be found.

All in all, I fell asleep three times during the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards it was completely BORING!

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys need to retire “Empire State Of Mind” and performance of the night went to Cee Lo Green and Gwyneth Paltrow followed by Rihanna and Drake! I know exactly what the awards could have used; a performance by…Chris Brown!

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