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Here’s the deal. I really like Facebook. It has allowed me to catch up with family members who are all over the world. It has helped me find friends from college and the Navy that I haven’t seen since the late 90’s. But, there are a couple things that just irk me and I have no place for them in my life.

5. Poking: What the hell is that about? What exactly are you poking me for? Is this some kind of e-flirting? I’m a married man and I’m sure my wife doesn’t appreciate somebody trying to poke me because I damn sure don’t.

4. Pillows: So the message attached is There is only one rule of Pillow Fight: The player who does not hit back in 2 days loses! Let’s see who wins! Well guess what? I’m going to lose every time. So don’t waste your time.

3. Drinks: If you want to send me a drink, then come to any club that I DJ and get me a Vodka and Cranberry.

2. Mafia Wars: So you need my help to raid the arms depot, Fight Off An Ultra-National Gang or find the location of a secret stash. Sorry to tell you but, your going to be going this alone.

1A. Farmville: I don’t care if it’s the lonely cattle that is wandering the streets and needs to be adopted or you just found a field that needs fertilizing…it’s all BULL to me. I have a dog that gives me enough crap because he has yet to be housebroken, I don’t need any more.

1. Friend request from people I don’t know: I think this is self-explanatory. Off top I barely remember the girl who sat behind me in second grade. Now you are her co-worker 20 years later and you send me a friend request? You gotta be kidding me. I would tell you to hunt down your own friends but, if you are requesting me, more than likely you have none of your own.

Things that barely missed the list but still annoy me: A billion party invites DAILY, getting tagged in some calendar or horoscope and people that read your page don’t leave comments but tell all your business to other people who aren’t your friend.