“Sometimes men think with their other head,” my mother said to me this morning. I was noticeably bothered by the announcement that Big Sean had gotten engaged to a woman he’s been dating for six months, meanwhile the woman–Ashley–who could be seen not far from Sean’s side throughout his rise to fame, is staring at a bare ring finger.
Naya Rivera debuted her rock at the LATINA Magazine’s Hollywood Hot List party. The 26-year-old “Glee” star met Sean via Twitter in February, 2013. “I had followed him and he sent me a little message like, ‘I’m a fan.’ I tweeted that I followed him, I was trying to get his attention,” Naya told Access Hollywood about how she and Sean met. “We went to dinner and the rest is history.”
“That’s men for ya’,” my mother continued. I immediately thought of the petite brown skin girl Ashley, who I’ve met on several occasions. She was always polite, generally quiet and smiling like she could care less about the fame. And lyrics to Sean’s ode “Ashley” are evidence of that. “Remember when we couldn’t get shit? Best thing bout being broke is you don’t spend shit/Remember that Christmas? We had a wish list/ We couldn’t afford nothin’ but we still get shit/ Ironically those were the times I felt the richest/All those times that we spent by the pool girl,” he rapped.
Sean and Ashley were high school sweethearts. In an interview with Angie Martinez last year, Sean gushed about her “I ain’t just out here ratchet running through all of these little h*s after the shows. I got something special,” he said. Continuing to rave about the woman he penned a song about, he said “The girl who I’m real serious with is the girl I had a crush on since I was 15. So now I got her, eventually. I always tried to get at her and she had a boyfriend. I had a girlfriend too, but I was running wild back then. One day, I said ‘You got to stop playing and hop on this. What’s up?!’ I said that in so many words. So she was like ‘Man you are crazy,’ so I took her out everyday for like a week.” That was December and this is October. How could a man so in love with his ex, just a year ago, be engaged to someone else he met six months ago?
I couldn’t understand why I was so invested in someone else’ relationship when I have my own damn problems. I’ve been with my high school love for 10 years now and just the thought of us breaking up and him marrying someone else is a fear I can’t cope with. Still, that isn’t the precise factor that drives my emotional invest.
Big Sean & Ashley
It’s every woman’s fear–give a man her heart, tears, years and devotion to be blindsided by the glare from ring of the woman your man left you for or moved on with. After “putting in the work” as a ride-or-die chick you feel deserving of a last name that matches the man’s you love. I guess I felt a little pain for Ashley. I tweeted my sentiments, and immediately people responded like I cursed Christ. One man in particular, waged Twitter war against me. (He later deleted them). But I remain stern by my 140 characters.
Big Sean isn’t the first star to his a level of success and find new love. Comedian Kevin Hart divorced the mother of his two children, Torrei Hart, and finds comfort with another younger, more racially ambiguous woman. Kanye dumped Alexis for Amber Rose and Keenan Ivory Wayans is one of the Black men who left their Black wife for a White woman. The list goes on and on, which makes it such a depressing story to see our Detroit brother Sean fall into the category.
Rivera has her sights on being a singing artist. She released the song “Sorry” name dropping Ashley in the lyrics. “Sorry, I’m not sorry,” she sings bashing the other women in Sean’s past life. “I don’t know sh*t about it/ But I know you mad about it/ He loves the way I put it down/ Starstruck on what he found/ You wishin’ that it played out different/ Yeah I know it sucks girl.” Sean said Ashley didn’t mind him rapping about his ex and apparently, he doesn’t mind Ashley bashing her either.
My instense reaction could be because I am a sucker for love. I’m one of those people who believe that two people can still be together forever and ever (someone’s got to remain optimistic) but something just seems wrong about this Big Sean, Naya situation. As a person who’s been in a relationship with the same person for 10 years this October, I am aware of the trials and tribulations, fall-outs and fall-back-ins. Love is hard and every romance doesn’t have a fairy tale ending, but six months? That’s all it took for you to move on?
I don’t know the extent of Big Sean and Ashley’s relationship, only what we hear in his songs, but if you go by that, it makes you wonder is his relationship with Naya real?
“I was scared you’d find somebody who would treat you like you supposed to/ You the type niggas get close to, get close to, and then propose to/And when Thanksgiving come around/I ain’t tryna bring hoes through to momma”- Big Sean “Ashley”
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